It used to be that one could work and earn enough to pay off the mortgage and then retire. This is something that strikes me again and again as I move through the world of non-traditional sexual practice: the importance of terminology and self-identification, the licence it grants people to feel themselves situated in a vibrant and inclusive landscape of sexual behaviour. What they all show, and this is the same for whatever subgroup — gay or straight, across all territories — people are more likely to say that oral sex is sex, that any genital contact is sex. I f, as Philip Larkin claimed, sex began in , it appears to be fizzling to an end in the early decades of the 21st century. The internet has helped people to understand how much variability there is in people's sexuality, and total abstention is just one place on the continuum. Perhaps the real question we should be asking is what, these days, counts as sex?
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