For a woman to say "no", and have sex only when she truly wants to, is a basic but incredibly empowering act. Some people might think that waiting that long means there's something wrong with me. The former might have ruined our friendship, but the latter might have prevented me from ever "playing the field". Relationships Women features. I weeded out the unsuitables, conducting initial "interviews" by phone and email before meeting those on my shortlist. Not that I'd had an entirely sexless existence up to then — I simply managed my desires with my own hands, learning what I liked and how to satisfy myself sexually. My best mate would complain that when she met a man who liked the same music, books or films as her, she always thought she had made a new friend — only to discover he wanted to ask her out.
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